Wonder of the Cross

In Hebrews 12, there is one phrase that always  paralyzes me. "For consider Him".  I believe that, contained within those three words, is the entirety of Christianity.

"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: 

for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created."

"God is light, and in him is no darkness at all."

"Great things doeth he, which we cannot comprehend."

"Touching the Almighty, we cannot find him out: he is excellent in power, 

and in judgment, and in plenty of justice, he will not afflict."

"Who is like unto thee, O LORD, among the gods? 

who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?"

"Stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God."

That is what Jesus is worthy of, and the cross is what he chose. I have sought words to describe what takes place when I see the cross. God takes my hand and leads me up a dusty path, to the hill called Golgotha. Blood, blood, more blood. My ransom. I fall to my knees, mouth agape, tears streaming, not wanting to look, but not being able to turn away. What a price. What a mystery, that God should give His blood for me! But nothing my frail hand could pen quite equals the song by Vickie Beeching, 'Wonder of the Cross'.

 "O precious sight, my Savior stands,
Dying for me with outstretched hands.
O precious sight, I love to gaze,
Remembering salvation’s day. 

Though my eyes linger on this scene,
May passing time and years not steal
The power with which it impacts me,
The freshness of its mystery.

May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.
May I see it like the first time
Standing as a sinner lost,
Undone by mercy and left speechless,
Watching wide eyed at the cost.
May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross."

I have realized how imperative it is that I never -ever- take my eyes from that cross. Christ is the beginning, the center, the end. There simply isn't anything else that is important. And we cannot consider Christ without considering the cross -for upon that one piece of wood hangs the fate of all humanity. The most earth-shaking event in all of history. Words are not sufficient to describe the power with which this sight should captivate us.

Gypsy Smith, a great evangelist in the early 20th Century, was once asked what was the secret of his long ministry.  He replied, "I never lost the wonder of it all."

So. When you truly behold the wonder of His cross, your fate is sealed. You'll never be the same again. You are forever changed by the blood running down those nails and wood. You can no longer live your life as if it were yours. You can't pretend that it never happened, that it's just a myth; at least not for long. Your entire existence will be about magnifying that cross and all that it represents. So, I say again.

"May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.
May I see it like the first time
Standing as a sinner lost,
Undone by mercy and left speechless,
Watching wide eyed at the cost.
May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross."

So Great Salvation

 A clip from Paris Reidhead's "So Great Salvation", which I was privileged enough to hear for the first time during Bible School in one of our discussion groups. Remember, and never forget. He bought you to *set you free.*

"Oh, you bought me to set me free! You paid more than has ever been paid before just to set me free." And then she looked up through her tears and said, "Oh sir. All I want in life is to be your slave. You bought me...to set me free."

Bible School and Ballet Shoes

Have you ever loved something so much that you desperately wanted to waste time, body, and blood on it to the fullest degree humanly possible? I have. Twice.

At age four, Haley enters her first dance class. Fumbling, still-baby coordination. Learning beginner plies and jetes. Not even ballet really, just a lyrical worship dance. Basic ballet began at seven -"Point your toes. Good. Now bend your knees like this. See Haley? That's a plie. Heel forward on that tendu. Watch my feet! This is a chasse. No no, turn out on that grand jete! Spot your  head faster for that double pirouette, Haley, or you'll never get around. Strong port de bras! Long fingers...better...keep trying." At age eleven, classical training began. Age fourteen, pointe shoes (say hello to blisters). At fifteen, I began dancing every day of the week (say hello to chronic tendonitis), as well as teaching a class full of 6-11 year olds. And now, at sixteen, I begin Adagio (partnering).

Beginning last year, I was certain ballet was going to be my career. My life. Something I would live and breathe and bleed for. No matter what it took, or how much it hurt, I was going to succeed, and nothing would stop me. (hehe...It cracks me up -in a grim, ironic sort of fashion- when I hear myself make absolute statements like that now.) As a Christian, I had plans to study with professional Christian companies, and eventually join one, after which I would spend the remainder of my career (possibly into my early forties) traveling the world with that company.

Splendid! I thought. So many other teens were struggling over what to do with their lives, struggling to find their place in society, struggling to see God's will -but guess what?! I was leaps and bounds ahead! I already knew! I was going to make this future happen -for God- because I couldn't imagine anything more wonderful.

Please understand. I'm not saying this path isn't a possibility in my life. But I'm saying I found something so undeniably greater that all that only barely sounds appealing.

That something is a He. 

His name is Jesus Christ. Prince of Life. Merciful Savior. Morning Star. Man of Sorrows. Messiah. Lamb that was slain. Son of man. Son of God. Wonderful. Counselor. Mighty God. Prince of peace. King of kings. Creator of it all. Prodigal God (look for a later post explaining that name). Heavenly Priest. The Branch. The Dayspring. 

Jesus.

And coming face to face with the Son of God is a bit like being run over by a semi. A million times. Except that a semi is nowhere near as impacting.

This has happened in little baby steps over the last year especially. I couldn't even begin to list all of the ways He has constantly been inviting me to look at more of who He is. He gives the gift of sight, and once you've seen Him, He's all you want to look at. And all  this seemed to culminate, at least in the area of ballet, at the week long bible school held at my church January 1-7. What a way to kick-start one's year.

That week was seven days of weeping in intercession, of specific prayers answered specifically, of strong conviction, of seeing Christ for who He is, of glorifying God simply because He's God, of humbling yourself in front of your peers because God hates your pride, of seeing others break through walls of bitterness and fear. On the first day, I felt that if God answered another prayer, or showed His love and grace even a drop more, I would physically just break. I would curl up in a corner and cry, because I don't deserve any of it. Any of Him. During that week, I, and many others, came face to face with the person of Jesus Christ. I echo Job when, after God came and spoke to him in the whirlwind, he cried,  

"I  have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes." 

That's what it felt like. I'd never seen God as I was seeing Him then. I had heard, but never seen for myself...and that's when I began to realize that I am naught but dust. My life is a vapor that appears for a time, then passes away. A flower that lasts a season, and then falls withered to the ground. And Christ is all that I'm here for. 

I began to realize that, very literally, nothing but the Cross mattered. My dreams for the future were like a grain of sand compared with Buckingham Palace. Forget Buckingham, the Taj Mahal! No, that's not great enough...a grain of sand compared with the whole universe! (For those who have watched Louie Giglio's "How Great is our God", you can grasp what I am trying to communicate.)

So ballet...just isn't important anymore. It's not that I don't enjoy it. It's not that I couldn't join a company. It's just that my relationship with Jesus is so much more precious than anything I can imagine; and a life filled with ballet no longer sounds like the ultimate existence.

By the grace and for the glory of God, I hope to continue in what I learned at bible school. And not just to continue, but to increase. I know that I have only barely tasted Christ, I have only barely tasted prayer, I have only barely tasted knowing Him. Without Him, I have absolutely no hope. Zero. I cannot accomplish any of the things I have spoken of that took place during bible school -I speak more with longing than with the understanding that comes with experience- except Christ change my life. I want Him to change me so radically that I seek a deeper relationship with Him purely for the sake of knowing Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His suffering -not because I want people to think I'm spiritual. Let it be said of me that I always stood for Christ, when the world mocked.  

Because once you've seen Him, you can never forget Him, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

The Same Moon

Have you ever thought about the moon? I have. I love the moon. Moonlight is soft, and quiet. It's inviting to the imagination, and calming to the senses. The heavens truly do declare the glory of God. Unfortunately, I sleep in the basement. This limits my view of the moon considerably. But on the nights when the moon is full, I can lay awake in bed and just stare at it, considering...

...have you ever thought about the fact that this is the same moon? The very same moon that God created during the creation week. The same moon that watched the wreckage of human morality as the population sacrificed their sons and daughters upon alters of fire to gods of wood and gold...and even sometimes to the moon itself. The same moon that watched Noah's progress on the ark, and then watched the flood waters cover mount Ararat.

The same moon that viewed the erection of Babel. The same moon that saw the misery of Job. The same moon that watched God send plagues upon Egypt. The same moon that saw the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. The same moon that beheld Balaam's folly. The same moon that beheld Gideon and his three hundred win an impossible victory. The same moon that watched David flee from his enemies, and later saw him King. The same moon that watched the temple be fitted together into a house worthy of the Lord, and later saw it fall because of the sin of God's people.

The same moon who saw the prophet write Is. 53. The same moon that witnessed an infant's birth in a stable. The same moon that watched a storm be calmed by a Man. The same moon that saw the same Man torn, beaten, bruised, bloodied, scorned, mocked, ridiculed. The same moon that saw three crosses upon Golgotha. The same moon that watched the traitor who hung himself buried in Aceldama. And finally...the same moon that saw an empty tomb.

But none of this is really about the moon. It's about the Creator who spoke everything, including that moon, into existence. It's about the One who commanded kings, who ordained judges, who put words into the mouths of prophets, who shapes the fate of empires, who cares about the lowest wretch, who hears every prayer, who saved the world with His own life's blood, who spared not even His Son, and who continues, even as you read this, to uphold the fragile vapor that is your life. With one breath, He could end this entire universe, but He doesn't.


"Jesus Christ [is] the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever." And nothing (neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature) can change who He is. He created the heavens to declare His glory; to be His signature on all of history (His story, that is).

In my opinion, the moon has been privileged just to watch God at work. And so are we. And you know what? We're even luckier. Because all the moon can do is watch...but God has chosen us to act. Think about that for a moment.

Calling all MIT's! (or) The Lion Side

MIT. Mighty in Training. Believe it or not, if you believe in the risen Son of God, Jesus Christ, this is you. I suppose this post is the counterpart to my previous post, entitled 'Charity'. This time, I want to discuss the more warlike side to Christianity. "Warlike?" you might ask. "I thought Jesus was a lamb."
"Absolutely!" I reply. "AND a lion."

I have some really amazing people to introduce you to today. The Warriors of God 'hall of fame', so to speak. They are referred to by God as the 'Gibborim'. What the heck is a Gibborim? Well...take a look at this word, and you are examining your very own destiny. This word, my friend, is the key to unlock your future. Not convinced? Just wait.

But before I introduce you to these hall of famers, you must catch a glimpse of the way God describes them. The Hebrew word for "Mighty" is...get ready..."Gibbowr" (ghib-bore). Hence the name "Gibborim". Doesn't just saying that word make you want to draw your sword? Some of the definitions as listed in Strong's Concordance are as follows: powerful; by implication, warrior, tyrant:-- champion, chief, X excel, giant, man, mighty (man, one), strong (man), valiant man.

Mighty Endurance
Meet Eleazar the Ahohite. Eleazar was listed amongst the ranks of 'the mighty men whom David had'. Why? Several thousand years ago, on the soil of Israel, a huge band of Philistines prepared for battle. They marched on God's promised land, to kill, usurp, and destroy. All the men of Israel had fled...save four. These four stood to 'defy' the Philistines. Who were they? Mighty Men. One was David, son of Jesse...one was Eleazar the Ahohite. Of Eleazar, it says in 2 Sam. 23:10 "He arose, and smote the Philistines until his hand was weary." Ponder this for a moment. Four...against a LOT of enemies. I think I can understand this weary hand thing. Here's the rest of the verse: "and his hand clave unto the sword: and the LORD wrought a great victory that day; and the people returned after him only to spoil."
What made Eleazar a 'mighty' was not only that he stood with three other men against many enemies. It was not the fact that he fought till exhaustion. He was mighty because even when his muscles burned, and his life was compromised, and things looked impossible, he still fought. When every ounce of endurance in his body was called for, and every drop of blood was on the line, his hand clave unto his sword. Welcome to the league of the Mighties.

Mighty Courage
Meet Adino the Enzite. He is also listed amongst David's Mighties. He was, in fact, the Chief among the Captains. This one man stood courageously against eight hundred foes with...a spear. And slew them all in one day.

Mighty Audacity
Shortly after David was anointed King over Israel, he and his men marched on Jerusalem, which was in Jebus, and held by the Jebusites. These Jebusites hurled insults down on David and his men. The bibilical text says they "were hated of David's soul". David's ire was so raised that he said, "Whosoever getteth up to the gutter, and smiteth the Jebusites...he shall be chief and captain." Now, amongst the ranks of Israelites David brought was one called Joab. With every fiber in Joab's being, he wanted to be first in David's kingdom. He desired this place so much that, ignoring all danger, he ran up the gutter to the top of the wall and struck the Jebusite in the face.

"Nice. Inspiring. It makes me want to work out more. But what does any of this have to do with me?" My answer is...Everything. Is. 9:6 is a prophesy of Christ. And it refers to Him as -get this- the Mighty God. In 1 Cor. 6:19-20 says "What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your bodies, and in your spirit, which are God's."

So here it is. We are bought with a price, we are not our own. And who is our Master? The Commander in Chief of the league of the Mighties! He has commanded us to flee conformation to this world, and to seek His image, with all that it entails. We are privileged beyond belief to have the Lord of Hosts living in us, and us in Him. He is not a man, that He should allow cowards and the half-committed to be numbered amongst His ranks. We are representatives of the ultimate Mighty One, and He has equipped you and I with all that we need to show His strength in our lives.

My response to all this when I first learned of the league of the Mighties was something along these lines: "Whoaa, God. Hold on. This all sounds fantastic. But this is me, Haley, we're talking about. 5'1", 106 pounds, extremely unimpressive. The one who loves ballet and Jane Austen. I can't be a Mighty! Who are we kidding?! This must be one of those gender specific, only-for-the-spiritually-elite messages. Can we maybe talk about something I am more comfortable with?"

Smiling gently, my Father took my hand and set my bible on my desk. "I have not called you to make yourself Mighty. I haven't called you to slay 1,000 men with the jawbone of a donkey. But I have called you to let My Strength be shown through you. I have called you to let Me wield your life as a weapon against darkness, to shatter the plans and strong holds of My enemies. I have called you to be a willing vassal. Will you trust Me?"

"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ, and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fullfilled."

So, my fellow MIT's. God wants to use you. He wants to use you Mightily. Will you trust Him?

Thoughts. :)

Hello everyone! Long time no post. This summer has been busier than I can even describe. This post, however, is not intended to be devoted to the recount of the craziness of my life.

Last night we had a huge, lovely thunderstorm; the leftovers of which are still with us this morning, in the form of thick, dank fog and a chilling wind. Glorious weather, all things considered. :) So I figured now would be a perfect time to sit down and share with everyone a few things the Lord placed in my path to turn my eyes upon Him...

The first thing to share is a little piece of American history; a reminder of the legacy we have from our forefathers, and what our country was.

"Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine; let me find Thy light in my darkness, Thy life in my death, Thy joy in my sorrow, Thy grace in my sin, Thy riches in my poverty, Thy glory in my valley." ~1600's Puritan Prayer

This is Christianity. Finding life in death, finding glory in persecution, finding victory in submission, finding vision in the darkest cell....finding crowns on Calvary. The problem comes when I forget this Christianity, which is ultimately loosing sight of Christ. I forget that personal fulfillment and joy comes only in Christ and bringing Him glory, and not in reaching the highest mountain, or in forging my own crowns, or in winning my own victories.


The Second thing I wished to share is a poem by Anne Bradstreet, also Puritan from the 1600's. She was a wife and mother; and through her writings, Anne shows herself to be everything I have ever hoped to model (and her first name is one of my middle names. :D). My favorite of her poems is titled 'The Flesh and the Spirit'. Anne starts this poem by describing a conversation she once overheard between two twin sisters- one Flesh, and one Spirit. Flesh chides her sister, saying she spends too much time caring and hoping for things that are but shadows and imaginations, lives on nothing but meditation, and "Dost dream of things beyond the Moon/ And dost thou hope to dwell there soon?"

Spirit silences the flesh with a rebuke, and says that she has vowed to conquer her sister Flesh, lead her captive, and put her to death. 'My greatest honour it shall be/ when I am victor over thee'.

Then Spirit continues on to describe heaven with all the glory a pen can capture, saying to the vanquished Flesh,

"Eternal substance I do see
With which inriched I would be.
Mine eye doth pierce the heav'ns and see
What is Invisible to thee.
My garments are not silk nor gold,
Nor such like trash which Earth doth hold,
But Royal Robes I shall have on,
More glorious than the glist'ring Sun.
My Crown not Diamonds, Pearls, and gold,
But such as Angels' heads infold.
The City where I hope to dwell,
There's none on Earth can parallel.
The stately Walls both high and trong
Are made of precious Jasper stone,
The Gates of Pearl, both rich and clear,
And Angels are for Porters there.
The Streets thereof transparent gold
Such as no Eye did e're behold.
A Crystal River there doth run
Which doth proceed from the Lamb's Throne.
Of Life, there are the waters sure
Which shall remain forever pure.
Nor Sun nor Moon they have no need
For glory doth from God proceed.
No Candle there, nor yet Torch light,
For there shall be no darksome night.
From sickness and infirmity
Forevermore they shall be free.
Nor withering age shall e're come there,
But beauty shall be bright and clear.
This City pure is not for thee,
For things unclean there shall not be.
If I of Heav'n may have my fill,
Take thou the world, and all that will."

The reason I find this so encouraging, I suppose, is because eternity truly is my hope. This earth holds nothing for me really, I am but here for a season to do my Master's bidding. After all, my life is hid with Christ in God, and heaven is my home. I have power over that evil Flesh through the death of Christ; there are much better things laid up in heaven for me than anything Flesh has to offer. If I keep my focus on heaven, and on the magnification of Christ, I cannot help but wish to glorify Him and surrender to Him.

"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were just those who thought most of the next...it is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this (world). Aim at heaven and you'll get earth "thrown in": aim at earth and you will get neither."

~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

What on earth are we doing for heaven's sake? I'd like to encourage you all in the same way the Lord encouraged me... This path we're walking, this Christian path, is well trod. The ground is hard-packed and well defined. Press on; continue 'aiming at heaven', because our hope is not an earthly hope. Christ is worth everything we have.

Wings of the Wind

Hey All! So this is really just a rough composition... this is in the 'first draft' form, if you will. After all, I just threw it together in an hour's time this afternoon. Imput and suggestions are eagerly sought. Thanks for reading. :D

Wings of the wind hath He ridden,
foundations of the heavens hath He shaken,

to answer my cry.

Lightning, and hail, sendeth He for me,
and darkness on all dread enemies,
to answer my cry.

Wroth was He, against those enemies,
all too strong for me, but none for He.
He sent the blast of His breath to quench them,
to answer my cry.

Yet tremble do I still, for darker shadow than before,
approaches this which hath been a haven and safe hill.

Doubt rendereth weak my former faith, as cries to the darkness
my soul doth make.

And as shaking there I stand, He appears.
The One whose hand all creation fears. That hand offers He to me now,
gently saying,
"Didst thou fear I would forsake thee?

Wings of the wind have I ridden,

foundations of heavens have I shaken,
to answer thy cry.

Lightning, and hail sendeth I for thee,
and darkness on all thy dread enemies,
to answer thy cry.

Wroth was I against those enemies, all too strong for thee, but none for me.

Blast of my breath to quench them sent I,
to answer thy cry.

Thy candle do I light, to pierce the darkest night,
Darkness do I banish, the dawn to rise at my beckon,
to answer thy cry.

Sins I bore for thee,
and three nails on that tree,

to answer thy cry.

Scorn I bore for thee,
and rejection from The One heavenly,
to answer thy cry.

Didst thou fear I would forsake thee?"